Lets face it, there are certain things only a bearded man has the privilege (and pleasure) of knowing…
Certain insights, experiences, powers, and abilities only bearded men have the luxury of enjoying.
From scientific studies to history lessons, the examples of why you should live bearded are endless! Here are seven of the best…
Why You Should Live Bearded
1. Beards & Sex!
Studies show bearded men, on average, induce 69% LONGER and 2.2x MORE orgasms in women than our less fortunate non-bearded brethren. Nothing sparks a wild night of ecstasy and life long memories like a burly beard, some sweet talking, and dare I say it… a tasty beverage! (maybe a great bottle of vino 😜 )
Break head boards, not hearts fellas!
2. Beards Make You Instantly More Attractive!
No need to elaborate, a picture is worth a thousand words...
You can't argue science!
3. Beards Improve Sophistication (and status)!
Growing a beard has been a sign of manliness since the dawn of time. In fact, studies show that beards are considered to be an alpha trait and men with beards are rated as more masculine, powerful and sophisticated. The bottom line, women won’t be able to resist your beard. That's what we like to call, a win-win!
This ruggedly handsome feller could be you.
4. Beards Shave Time!
The average man will spend 4.5 months, or 139 days of his life shaving (destroying) his manhood. That’s a sh*t load of time wasted! Think of all the things you could be doing, like kayaking the grand rapids or boxing bears!
My money's on the beard! Upper cut, Upper cut!
5. Beards Protect Your Face!
Beards are natural shields to protect you against Mother Nature, among other things. They block your face from sun, snow, rain, dust and the occasionally moody girlfriend when she turns a tad bit crazy during that "time of the month." Don’t be buster, grow a beard and protect that handsome face brother!
Whatever you do, don't leave your face hanging! #livebearded
6. Beards Write History!
Beards have been writing history since before we even knew what history was. Socrates, Marcus Aurelius, Leonardo Da Vinci, Lincoln. Need I say more? All of these men had what it took to leave a permanent imprint on history, with the help of their epic beards of course.
They also make you more trustworthy! Just ask honest Abe...
7. Beards Make You Smarter!
Beards have been regarded as emblems of wisdom. It has been said that Albert Einstein’s facial hair was so powerful, he only needed a mustache to discover the General Theory of Relativity. Imagine what he could have done with a beard??? He clearly knew something, the rest of us did not...
Stache (S) x Einstein (E) = Stache Master (SM)
With great beard comes great responsibility. Embrace the beard and Live Bearded Brother!